Phase O.n.e

Talk to my bf today about my decision. He supports me. Haha... feel so much better after I talk to him. Had done some amendment to my fb information. Will continue to work on it. At the same time, putting alot of effort in building myself up. oouusshhhh I know I can do it.

Funny thing is that my bf thought my decision is related to our relationship. He was so curious and call me up. At the same time, I asked him if I decided to end our relationship, can he accept?and what will he do? He really believe and keep asking me the reason for break up.. Hahah...
So guys, the decision is not related to my relationship neither is it related to my work.. Although looking for better opportunity, but I guess it's not the right time yet. :)

Thanks for the concern~! I really appreciate the thoughts and caring.
I have so much to do right now since I have decided what I want.

I needs to make a lifetime decision today... I hope no regret this time~!

I posted a thought in fb yesterday that makes most of my friends curious and wondering what is the lifetime decision that is bothering me. Seriously, I haven't told anyone about this, not even my family members and bf.
That "today" is actually a duration I hope I can make the decision. Unfortunately up till now, "today" has already passed but I'm still stagnant at the same position. Making this decision is not difficult but doesn't know why still can't make up my mind . Up till now, I'm still not ready to tell anyone about this. I'll let you all know when I'm ready to face it.

Thanks for all your understanding!!
Capture this from facebook for remembrance~!

Haizz.... another sad news today

Today at my weekly team meeting my manager informed us that management would like us to choose the 3 patterns shift for weekend on shift. Meaning some/all of us will have to work weekend so that there won't be anymore on call person. I doesn't want to talk about the 3 pattern shift that management has come up with. It doesn't really matter anymore because they are going to implement it anyway. I guess this time, I voice out the most. I doesn't like working on weekend. Since I have got this job, I'm force to be on-call on weekends on rotation. I'm already bearing with it, but this is getting worst. I just don't feel I can tolerate. I'm really confuse and demotivated. During our last brown bag session with our senior manager, it wasn't communicated this way. What is happening? I thought we have already informed up front that we're not interested with the weekend on shift plan. But they have already made this decision. Getting input on our views, will it make any difference?

Demotivated and stress right now. I'm really demoralise with what is happening with the primary incident team. I'm confuse as ever. I keep telling myself to stay positive. Since the changes one month ago, all of us are demotivated. But the bad news just keep flowing in one after another. How to stay positive when everything is not reflecting some thing good? sigh... I'm always hoping for a better future, but why does it have to be so blur all the time? Aaaarrggghhh.... I want freedom... Freedom from management decision.

All the best to me~!

Also, I had a short chat with Khee Seong today. He told me that if SDC still need to hire ppl, he'll inform me. He said that he would want me to go back and work with them. I was very happy because at least I feel that i'm appreciated and recognized. But I told him that I'm can't accept because I have to wait at least one year in order to qualify for lateral transfer. Why is all the other opportunity happening when I'm in the grounding period? So many chances are wasted. I'll wait patiently if god feels that I'm not going through enough, but at the same time, won't stop looking.

Hectic Hectic Week....

After a long chat with my 2 BFF on the wesak procession, I fell much better. Decision still comes back to me. Thinking of letting go, but a part of me doesn't wants to. Maybe it's because I'm use to the other half. I guess my decision will still be the same as 3 yrs ago. To accept the fact that I can't change him. I would be happier this way..

Apart from that, work has also been giving me pressure too, which job doesn't?? Hahah... But I'm coping quite well with it.. fingers still crossing, that everything will go on smoothly. Anyway had clear a lot of work today. The first time, I had experience the over tiredness since I left SDC. I have passed the sleepiness period, that I couldn't bring myself to relax/sleep although my whole body is aching. Hoping these days will pass sooooooon.

See told you I got so many things to think of on my previous blog entry...

Wayne told me that he's planning on our post phone trip. At least some good news.. He wants to do some shopping marathon first in IKEA before we head to Cameron Highland. But I feel that it's too rush and pack. The only thing that attracts me to IKEA is the German chocolate cake? or pie? Can't remember the name but the taste was so so unforgetable.. yum...

I deserve to be happier...

Don't you think so?

It has been a hard few weeks recently. I'm still struggling from the after effect of what is happening around me. Work, family, relationship, myself, everything. So many things to think of, yet so little time. Unsure of what needs to be done first, I guess I can only release myself with freedom, that is.. xxxxx. *death*

Really appreaciate the things that everyone has given me. but i still think i deserve to be happier despite all this unfinished thinking. or have I been thinking too much??

Hoping everything will be alright. I just want to be happier....

Things will never be the same again..

After the other day, i believe we can feel the difference. It's just so hard to please anyone. People will have their own judgement on you regardless of whether you do right or wrong. And this is the one thing we can't have control over others. The dowan to talk to you face is there. Just live with it. That's the only thing I can think of.. I really miss working with my ex-coll in SDC. Maybe it's better in smaller groups. Everything just come so easy. Not like now..